Elon's latest wild and crazy takeover

Pick a word, any word.

Hey friends,
 
You know those hideous Christmas sweaters people wear as a joke? Yesterday I saw one with “Noel” on the front, and it hit me – the letters N-O-E-L could be rearranged as E-L-O-N.
 
So guess what I did? I bought the rights to “Noel”! Not just the sweater idea or the song, but the whole freakin’ word!
 
Turns out that if you know the right people and have the right bank balance, you can buy adjectives (cheap), verbs (pricier) and nouns (financially out of reach, unless you’re me).
 
I chose the deluxe package that protects letter rearrangements in all media. So from now on, instead of that boring Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel chorus, get ready for Elon, Elon, Elon, Elon. Has a nice ring to it, eh?
 
I’d considered waiting until Black Friday to roll this out, but it takes time to manufacture millions of Elon sweaters and ship them on a slow boat from China. So we’re taking preorders now. All proceeds will go to my Elon’s Elves Foundation, providing financial aid to young elves enrolled in STEM studies.
 
Cheers,
EM