Elon needs your magic money

Hey gang,
Sorry I’ve been out of touch for so long. I’ve been busy launching a fantastic new venture: magic mushrooms!
 
Making psychedelic mushrooms available to everyone on Earth (and soon, in outer space too) is my mission for Elon’s Magic Xshrooms. But getting to that point is another story.
 
These mind-blowing gems grow in soil enriched with plant debris and humus of the tropics and subtropics – and when word got out that I was interested, leasing rates on this land went through the roof.  
 
Just as “It takes money to make money,” it also takes money to make mushrooms. And due to some bad breaks lately, I’m low on liquidity. Can I count on you, Musketeers, to help me out?
 
Give ‘til it hurts
 
If all you can spare is chump change, we’re having a bake sale every weekend. I’ve also set up a 501 (c)(3) charity. For details, contact any of my world headquarters except the one in Dubai. They aren’t keen on the charity concept.
 
If you’re feeling especially generous, buy a brand new Stealth Cybertruck. It’s like a Stealth bomber aircraft, but with much better mileage. Many of these trucks are already zooming around on roads all over America. You haven’t seen them? That’s the point!
 
And for really generous donors, rides on the next SpaceX capsule are 50% off for a limited time only. Same great weightlessness, same awesome bragging rights, at super bargain rates.
 
Thanks to your generosity, I won’t have to hang out at stoplights with a cardboard sign that says “Will work for ketamine.”
 
Much appreciated,
Elon
  
Photo by Leeloo The First