Elon wants "my own private island"
All I want for Christmas is my own private island: Elon Musk’s wish list
First off, people, I won’t lie to you. Peace on earth ain’t gonna happen, no matter who puts it on their gift list. Likewise, I won’t bother saying All I want for Christmas is you. I don’t want 99% of you, because you’re boring.
And now for the things I do want.
My own private island, surrounded by my own private ocean covering as many nautical miles as possible. The island should have a source of potable water and excellent wi-fi reception.
Speaking of oceans, you’ve heard that Twitter is financially underwater. Bankruptcy isn’t out of the question. Neither are mass layoffs. OK, so Twitter has only six employees now, and that’s not much of a mass. But I’m already bored with Twitter and moving on to The Next Big Thing.
So I’ve set up my own GoFundMe campaign: Elon’s Twitter Tsunami.
And why does the richest man in history need your money? Precisely because I’m super mega outrageously rich and have to keep the momentum going. With $44 billion locked up in Twitter, where can I get my speculation bucks? By looking for spare change lodged between the sofa cushions?
So GoFundMe already. Maybe my Next Big Thing will change your life. Or at least change mine.
Finally, some really cheap gifts for me if you’re on a tight budget: mittens, hooded parka, snow boots, and thermal underwear (“long johns”). I’ll need these while exploring that Next Big Thing. Can’t go into more detail, since negotiations are still ongoing. Let’s just say I want to own a place that’s blindingly white, extremely cold, and really really REALLY far south.
Comments are closed.
Fake news you can't count on, from Elon Musk and his Musketeers (not really)