ChopperX: Like Uber, but with helicopters

Hey, Musketeers,
 
Let’s say you were the first one on the block to buy a Tesla. So cool! But now all your neighbors own at least one Tesla, right? Not so cool.
 
Get back on the leading edge with our new ride-hailing service, ChopperX. It’s like Uber, but with helicopters.
 
Here’s what I’d do if I were you:
--Hover over your friends’ mansions to say hello.
--Cruise to your favorite local coffeehouse and buy them out.
--Buzz around the city tax assessor’s office to remind them who’s boss.  
 
Use the ChopperX app to summon a ride faster than you can say “Apocalypse Now.” And don’t forget to buy a few shares of ChopperX stock while you’re at it. Chop-chop!
 
Yours in a hurry (always),  
 
Elon