A simple disguise will convince restaurant management that you’re professional food critics striving to remain anonymous. You’ll receive outstanding service, complimentary dessert, and plenty of toothpicks.
Practice at home first so you don’t slobber all over yourself on your big night out. Avoid ordering wide foods like corn on the cob, and ask for a drinking straw with your soup.
You might even get a sponsorship deal from your local supermarket for wearing bags printed with their logo.