CRAZY. It's not just a slogan. It's my way of life.
Often weird, but never boring
Cousin Jenny wasn't impressed by my Tarzan yell.
Back in the 1960s, Mom sang her original parody of the Campbell's commercial: "Soup and sandwich, soup and sandwich, go together like blood and bandage." Dad brought home copies of Mad magazine for my sister and me to read. And one time he showed up in a gorilla suit for a huge wedding reception on the south side of Chicago.
So how could I ever not be crazy? You know what they say: the nut doesn't fall far from the tree. Leah Carson
Dumbass questions deserve smartass answers! Why does our dog Rufus lick his privates all the time? He's trying to freshen his breath.
"Did you find everything you were looking for?" No, but let's hold up the line while you page a clerk who won't find it, either.
Can I machine-wash extremely muddy clothes? Yes. You can also spend the next three days shoveling mud out of your washer.
Plus: Inferior Decorating ... The Guys' Crap Roadshow ... Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow ... The Life-Changing Magic of Compulsively Folding Your Socks ... Quantum Physics Made Easy ... and billions of other absurd and pointless topics.
Smartass Answers to Dumbass Questions is available in paperback and Kindle format. I recommend you buy both, because I need the money. Click HERE to open a new browser window for the book's Amazon page without losing your place in my website -- because who knows?...you might want one of everything I've ever published.
Love to buy stuff online?
Great! I love to sell stuff online. Check out my Spoofbooks and other parodies on the BOOKS page (but of course).
Chirp chirp! I'm @carsonmania on Twitter
A 280-character limit is more than enough for shallow thoughts like mine. To follow me on Twitter, just click the blue button under the orange canary, carefully avoiding any white bird droppings. Also, if you tweet a link to one of my blog stories, I'd be eternally grateful. Well, maybe not eternally, but at least for a couple of hours. Just click the "tweet" button beneath any story in my blog.