The original action figure turns 50 this year. In the 1960s, G.I. Joe starred in TV commercials with his own version of the Army fight song. But now that Joe is getting up in years, the lyrics need some updating, too.
G.I. Joe, G.I. Joe, how much longer can he go
On the land, on the sea, in the air?
Shorter marches there’ll be
On an artificial knee
And he seems to have lost all his hair
Now his mojo’s zapped
He needs to take a nap
Soon he’ll be snoring loud and strong
And his paunch and rear
Show he’s way too fond of beer
As the decades go rolling along
G.I. Joe, G.I. Joe, how much longer can he go
On the land, on the sea, in the air?
Shorter marches there’ll be
On an artificial knee
And he seems to have lost all his hair
Now his mojo’s zapped
He needs to take a nap
Soon he’ll be snoring loud and strong
And his paunch and rear
Show he’s way too fond of beer
As the decades go rolling along
