Five reasons to love Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit issue

Reason #6: promotes butt-flossing

1. It gives Victoria’s Secret models something to aspire to.
2. The minimal bikinis are eco-friendly. Some don’t even have tops.
3. It boosts a vital sector of our economy: breast-augmentation cosmetic surgery.
4. It distracts northerners from their midwinter malaise and may even prevent some SAD-related suicides.
5. Anything that ticks off the Taliban is worth doing. 

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