--You undergo a cardiac scan to detect abnormalities of the heart, and they discover you don't have one.
--After your husband makes a thoughtless remark, you burn all his clothes.
--During a sermon, when your pastor refers to "hell on earth," everyone turns to look at you.
--You've had only one pet in your life: a boa constrictor.
--You've worn down many pairs of spike heels stepping on people.