You’ve probably heard that airlines are now overbooking every single flight because of mergers, high fuel prices, and airlines’ inherent sadism. Here’s how to interpret various gate announcements while you’re waiting to board.
--“This flight is full.” Every seat is assigned, including lavatories.
--“This flight is very full.” Infants and toddlers must be stowed in the overhead compartment.
--“This flight is completely full.” Several first-class passengers will sit in the cockpit and help fly the plane.
--“We’re asking for volunteers to give up their seats.” They’ll receive vouchers for a future flight, which will also be full, at which time they’ll be put on hold again – and so on and so on, until they become permanent residents of the airport.
--“Our itinerary has changed.” The flight is no longer stopping at the layover city, but you can parachute out at that point if you wish.
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