Vote early and often
Once again it’s election day (or, as they say in Japan, erection day).
See that table behind the poll workers’ seats? The law requires that it must hold a month’s worth of high-calorie snacks. Some municipalities begin election day by having the city clerk announce “Hear ye, hear ye” while popping open a can of Pringles.
The voting booth was invented by the ancient Greeks. The ancient Romans added a stone curtain for privacy; however, so many voters were crushed to death that eventually cloth curtains became the norm.
In most states it is illegal to remove your clothes while inside the voting booth.
No matter how well-informed you think you are, every ballot will have one office or referendum you’ve never heard of. But if you whip out your cellphone to ask a friend or spouse for advice, people behind you in line will get antsy.
There are many more tips I could give, but it’s time to go back and vote again…
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