Carsonmania,Spoofbooks
![]() You’ve been seeing each other forever, and you’re sure he’s “the one,” but maybe the man of your dreams needs a gentle nudge. These tips help ensure that he’ll pop the question soon. --Casually mention “Well, when I get married, I want the wedding at St. Paul’s Cathedral in London,” and see how he reacts. --Let him know you’re in it for the long haul with a subtle remark like “I just took out a mortgage in both our names.” --Go on a double date with friends who are happily married. If none of your friends are happily married, hire actors. --Ask him flat-out: “Is this relationship going anywhere? Because my biological clock is ticking, buster.” --Use a thick felt-tip pen to circle jewelers’ ads in the Sunday paper. Tuck the paper in his underwear drawer. --Buy a Vera Wang wedding gown and nonchalantly drape it over your sofa. --In a positive, upbeat tone, say, “I just want to make sure we’re on the same page. You aren’t gay, are you?” --To convey unconditional love and prove that you can survive difficult times as a couple, try wallpapering a room together. --Give him a 30-day deadline, with a cash incentive for proposing on February 14. --Hit him on the head with a shovel. Place in his hand a jewelry box with engagement ring. As he comes to, sweetly inquire: “You were saying?” Bonus! If any of these tips actually work, you'll need "White Lace and Panic: A Spoofbook on Weddings" to prepare for the big day. Click here to check out this 99-cent Kindle book at Amazon.com. Comments are closed.
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CarsonmaniaBlogI hope you weren't expecting anything profound. If I ever need to plead insanity, this blog will provide valuable evidence.
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