By Guest Columnist Maria Tatonka
I’d like to get organized, but – folding socks and underwear? Really? That’s ridiculous! Can’t I just pile them in the drawer?
Yes, that would be the lazy way out, but it leads to utter chaos: underwear not sorted by color, style or width, thongs scattered among old-lady white-balloon undies – or, in extreme cases, a woman’s underwear mingled with her husband’s boxer shorts. These “undies in a bundle” will bring dishonor upon your house. You will be forced to publicly apologize to your family, your friends, your neighbors, and your dead ancestors.
I tried folding my shirts and pants, but they don’t stand up properly in the drawer.
You must show them who’s boss, or soon they will spark anarchy. Say: “Look here, clothes! Straighten up and lie right! Square your edges, stiffen your zippers, and get your hems together.”
Conclude this lecture with a stern glance. Then shut the drawer. The next time you peek at the wayward clothes, they should be much tidier. If not, reinforce your commands with a few hard raps from a yardstick. It may seem cruel, but a quick correction now will save you and your rebellious clothing years of grief down the road.
Excerpted from "Smartass Answers to Dumbass Questions," available in paperback and Kindle. Click HERE to view it on Amazon.
Copyright (c) 2021 by Leah Carson
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Copyright (c) 2022 by Leah Carson, d/b/a Excellent Words, LLC