America’s top musicologists recently discovered a rare case among blind musicians: one who is “not very good.”
“Frankly, we’re baffled,” said Dr. Largo Zhivago, editor-in-chief of Just Music & More. “This guy ticks all the boxes: born into poverty, playing soul music before he was toilet-trained, dropping out of kindergarten, busking for tips on street corners. And, of course, the blindness thing.”
For years, Dr. Zhivago had heard rumors of a “not very good” blind musician whose earnings never exceeded $10 per year. Then, finally, fellow street performers on the south side of Chicago forcibly expelled him from their block, claiming he was driving away business. The Chicago Tribune ran a brief story on the man, whose name has been withheld pending notification of his family.
“I finally heard him play last month. Man, he’s awful,” Zhivago said. “Off-key, poor sense of rhythm, lousy arrangements.
“Maybe if he was writing anything but barbershop quartet numbers, he’d have a chance,” Zhivago concluded.
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