Joseph A. Sephora Jr., 37, of Muskego, Wis., has set a new world record by breaking 10 New Year’s resolutions in a single day.
Sephora broke all 10 of his 2012 resolutions by skipping Sunday Mass as well as a meetup with friends for a jog. Instead he watched a meaningless football bowl game, consuming potato chips and beer while swearing at the referee’s calls, ignoring his wife’s pleas to “watch the kids for a change, wouldja?” During halftime, instead of helping his wife in the kitchen, Sephora played Farmville for a while. He then surfed to the Sports Illustrated site to see whether the swimsuit issue, due in February, had by chance come out early.
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If I ever need to plead insanity, this blog will provide valuable evidence.
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