Google “pythons in Florida” and you’ll get more than 500,000 results, which just goes to show that pythons are really good at search-engine optimization.
These websites describe how the vicious 20-foot rock python has multiplied in alarming numbers. (Come to think of it, even one single python is an “alarming number” if it turns up in your hotel pool.)
Keep yourself python-free by following these guidelines next time you’re in Florida.
--At the hotel, ask for a room on the fifth floor or higher. Make sure nothing slithers in behind you on the elevator.
--When the bellboy brings your luggage, make him check under the bed and inside the tub. Tip him 50 cents for each python he finds.
--Keep a harpoon at your side when sunbathing or dining al fresco.
--If a python approaches you on the golf course, throw your caddy at him and run.
--Because pythons often prey on alligators, avoid petting any alligators you may see.
--Just before leaving for home, spray your packed luggage with a fire extinguisher to make sure you’re not carrying home any stowaways. Not live ones, anyway.
I hope you weren't expecting anything profound.
If I ever need to plead insanity, this blog will provide valuable evidence.
Copyright (c) 2022 by Leah Carson, d/b/a Excellent Words, LLC