Farter's Almanac predicts...
If you’ve never heard of the Farter’s Almanac, you’re probably younger than 100. Yet despite your callous indifference, the Almanac has just issued its traditional long-range winter forecast after checking all the usual signs (wooly-caterpillars’ coats, toad entrails, USDA computer data).
North Cold, with snow and ice from December through March.
West Cold. Drifting snow in high mountain passes.
South Warmer than other regions.
East Who knows?
Caribbean Warm and pleasant, with higher-than-average chance of Germans in Speedos at the beach.
Vatican City Crisp, clear days which will attract a mass of cardinals.
Moon Cold. Low levels of gravity and oxygen.
Mississippi River Wet.
Washington, D.C. Typical cloud of hot air over Capitol Hill.
Las Vegas Rain falls in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
I hope you weren't expecting anything profound.
If I ever need to plead insanity, this blog will provide valuable evidence.
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