Retirement Is Awesome: Barney Fife

Q. Whatever happened to everybody’s favorite deputy, Barney Fife?
 
Barney, former Deputy Sheriff of Mayberry, NC, is now a popular live model for human figure-drawing classes in his Florida retirement community.  
 
Although posing for artists might seem like a far cry from serving in a sheriff’s office, “Modeling and law enforcement both require grace under pressure,” Barney says. “Holding poses for hours takes tremendous mental focus.
 
“It’s like staking out a moonshine still, waiting for the perpetrator to return to the scene of the crime. They didn’t call me Fearless Fife for nothing.”
 
Dependability and professional conduct are modeling “musts.” In the Sip & Sketch wine/art class, “the ladies have been after me to pose as Michaelangelo’s ‘David,’ but I gave that a hard No. When a tipsy idea pops up, you’ve got to nip it in the bud.
 
“Anyway, my posing repertoire has everything they need: standing, sitting, reclining on my side with my head supported by one arm (they love that one), kneeling, and crouching as if I’m about to fire my service revolver.”
 
Barney lives in the 55+ gated community of Orange Blossoms A Go Go, Florida. Strolling around the Disney-like central town square reminds him of Mayberry, “with so many friendly people, the bandstand, and even a golf cart service station! It’s a dead ringer for Wally’s Filling Station where Gomer Pyle worked.”  
 
Orange Blossoms A Go Go is a safe place to live, Barney says, but “once a lawman, always a lawman, so I keep my trusty bullet handy. You never know when you’ll be called up to the front line in public defense.” 

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