By Summer Dotto, SpaceX Chief Chef
Every Thanksgiving, stressed-out people bug me with millions of questions. How long should I boil the turkey? How to politely tell Aunt Hilda that her squash casserole is revolting? Can I skip the sweet potatoes and just make a big dish of marshmallow topping? The baked turkey slid off the platter onto the floor – does the three-second rule apply?
Well, this year you can relax – and stop bugging me – because SpaceX Nutrition is proud to announce Pouch Cuisine®. This product line, previously exclusive to astronauts in zero gravity, is now available to consumers around the world (and on the Moon)!
You needn’t float around a space cabin to appreciate Pouch Cuisine®. Whether rushing the kiddies home from soccer practice, hosting a candlelight dinner party, or setting a Norman Rockwell-worthy family spread, you can trust our pouches for the ultimate in quick, tasty, somewhat nutritious dining.
Here are some special dishes your Thanksgiving guests will love:
Turkey Gel, either light or dark
Pulverized Potatoes and Gravy
Green Bean Casserole Pudding with French fried onion-flavored crystals
Cranberry Jelly (wihout cranberry skins – space toilets can’t handle fiber)
Pumpkin Pie Puree
Mmmm, my mouth is watering already. Have a smooooth Thanksgiving, everyone!
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