Elon’s generous offer: a horse (of course!)

"Wilbur! Is this Elon guy on the level?"

Hey gang,
Lately a nasty rumor has been circulating. A SpaceX flight attendant claims I promised to buy her a horse in return for sexual favors. A horse?!
 
How ridiculously cheap and tawdry. For the record, if I ever wanted to romance an animal lover, I wouldn’t give her any old horse. I’d give her a horse that’s brilliant, outstanding, unique, astonishing. Like me.
 
I’d give her…Mr. Ed.
 
In case you've never seen his 1960’s sitcom: Mr. Ed provides droll advice, keen insights and stock tips to Wilbur, his owner. But whenever someone else comes around, Mr. Ed is smart enough to keep his big lips shut, lest he get sold to a circus or confiscated by a medical research lab.
 
So ladies, remember that I have an inside track with this inimitable equine. Leave your number with my personal assistant. Let’s start horsing around.
Elon