Tears for fears: common problems of gym-wall climbers

Don't you just hate getting outclimbed by a 5-year-old?

Mental blocks create big problems for gym-wall climbers. Most common are fear of failing, fear of falling, and fear of being stuck near the ceiling at closing time when they turn off all the lights. These are understandable, but don’t let them stop you – unless you make a habit of failing, falling, and getting stranded after hours.
 
In that case you should listen to your amygdala, the primitive part of your brain that shouts “Knock it off, dummy!” Ask the gym for a refund, or try a piece of equipment that sits closer to the ground, like a recumbent stationary bike.
 
But let’s say you somehow inched your way up the steepest gym wall. That doesn’t mean you’re a climber. More of a creeper, like a bedbug.
 
Let’s take a second look at some important gym-climbing climbing facts I didn’t mention earlier.

• When most climbers have mastered a given route, the instructors rearrange the holds overnight without telling anyone.
• At some gyms you can rent climbing shoes. The previous renter probably didn’t wear socks and might’ve had trench foot, athlete’s foot or something-other foot. Bring socks.
• Women with stylish 10-inch lacquered fingernails should avoid climbing and take up the 100-meter dash instead.
• Guys: don’t sneak up behind a woman on the wall with a suave opener like “Hey, babe, you climb here often?” She just might fart in your face.

 
Whether you love adventure climbing or think it’s the dumbest thing since line dancing, you’ll like The Dumb Zone: A snarky look at your obsessive climbing disorder. Click HERE to check it out at Amazon.