Tackling Those Hard-To-Wrap Gifts
Puppy Include food and water in the box, along with some chew toys to cut down on whining. Also, don’t plan on reusing the box, ever, for anything. You’ll see what we mean on Christmas morning.
Limberger cheese Use only a USDA-approved double-lined container with AromaLock™ seal. File an environmental impact statement for the date on which the package will be opened.
Seaweed Soak thoroughly to remove sand and salt; then hang upside down to dry. Pack in cardboard container.
Helicopter Traditionally, this gift makes a surprise landing in the back yard. Wrapping is not recommended.
Microbes Since these are, by definition, too small to be seen with the unaided eye, always include a microscope in the package.
Backyard pond If your pond installation crew is really, really quick, they might be able to get this in the ground while your recipient is out shopping. Then, just cover the hole with a white or green bedsheet (depending on whether there’s snow on the ground) until Christmas.
Meteorites Pack individually for easier lifting. After all, even a one-foot meteorite weighs about 200 pounds.
Pimientos Just leave them in the olives, packed in the jar. Do we have to tell you everything?
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