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 Quality AV components? Check. Customized furniture? Check. Light-blocking drapes? Check.
And now for the finishing touches to recreate the authentic theatergoing experience: --Spill soft drinks on the floor and let them dry to a sticky residue. --Record the broadcast of an annoying pop radio station, and play it prior to the “feature presentation,” accompanied by dimly lit ads for local businesses. --Ask your spouse to sell you a carton of stale popcorn for $8.50. --Just before the feature, run a dozen onscreen reminders to “silence cellphones.” --Set a batch of cellphones to ring at critical points in the film – say, during a love scene or right before the hero saves the world. Scatter them around the room. --Invite some attention-deficit-disordered neighbor kids to sit behind you, where they’ll whine, argue, and kick the back of your chair. --Invite their dimwitted parents to sit next to you and blab about the movie: “What did he say?” “Hey, that guy looks like John Travolta.” “This movie sucks.” --Set your air conditioner to 46 degrees, and make sure the fan blows directly down your neck. Enjoyed this story? It's from Gimme Shelter: A Spoofbook on Home Decorating -- available free today at Amazon.com. And even if you missed the free promo day, the book costs only 99 cents. Click here for the Amazon sales page. Comments are closed.
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