Money burning a hole in your purse? I can help.
Carsonmaniac + credit card = instant gratification
You know what they say: Gratification delayed is gratification denied. So don't deny yourself any longer. You're just a few clicks away from pure pleasure.
Funny stuff: my best sellers
"To lick or not to lick" magnet
--To Lick or Not to Lick dishwasher magnet for doggy households
--HDD / Housework Deficit Disorder merchandise
--Coffee: The Quicker Picker-Upper for caffeine addicts
--My carbon footprint is bigger than yours bumper sticker
All this, plus mugs, shirts, mouse pads, and hats designed by yours truly, now available exclusively at my Zazzle store, Carsonmania Classics. To check 'em out, click HERE to open the Zazzle page in a new browser window without leaving Carsonmania.com.
--HDD / Housework Deficit Disorder merchandise
--Coffee: The Quicker Picker-Upper for caffeine addicts
--My carbon footprint is bigger than yours bumper sticker
All this, plus mugs, shirts, mouse pads, and hats designed by yours truly, now available exclusively at my Zazzle store, Carsonmania Classics. To check 'em out, click HERE to open the Zazzle page in a new browser window without leaving Carsonmania.com.
New! My second Spoofbook.
For Pets' Sake: A Spoofbook on Pets
Need a break from vacuuming dog hair and raking the litter box? Check out For Pets’ Sake, which begins:
“Are your children old enough to gently handle a delicate hamster without crushing or dropping him? If not, can you afford to buy a new hamster every couple of days?”
This pet-lovers’ guilty pleasure provides a hilarious lowdown on the dogs, cats, ferrets, parakeets, horses, rabbits, guinea pigs, fish, snakes, and other animals that own us. You’ll crow over “BuckbuckbuGAWK.com” and thank your lucky stars you don’t own “Possibly the Worst Pet Ever.”
For Pets’ Sake brings home 27 spooflets and drops them at your feet for just 99 cents. Best of all, you’ll never have to feed it Kindle Chow. Click HERE to open a new browser page at the Kindle store; you won't lose your place in Carsonmania.com.
Need a break from vacuuming dog hair and raking the litter box? Check out For Pets’ Sake, which begins:
“Are your children old enough to gently handle a delicate hamster without crushing or dropping him? If not, can you afford to buy a new hamster every couple of days?”
This pet-lovers’ guilty pleasure provides a hilarious lowdown on the dogs, cats, ferrets, parakeets, horses, rabbits, guinea pigs, fish, snakes, and other animals that own us. You’ll crow over “BuckbuckbuGAWK.com” and thank your lucky stars you don’t own “Possibly the Worst Pet Ever.”
For Pets’ Sake brings home 27 spooflets and drops them at your feet for just 99 cents. Best of all, you’ll never have to feed it Kindle Chow. Click HERE to open a new browser page at the Kindle store; you won't lose your place in Carsonmania.com.
The first book in my Spoofbook series
Arts & Crap: A Spoofbook on Arts and Crafts
Arts & Crap is bursting at the seams with short and snappy spooflets, including "The Deadly Art of Needlepoint," "12 Telltale Signs You'll Get Hooked on Scrapbooking" and "Knit One, Burn Two." Among these 18 how-not-to's, you're sure to find one particular craft you've always loved to hate. Lots of laughs for just 99 cents! Click HERE to open a new browser page at the Amazon Kindle store; you won't lose your place in Carsonmania.com, and you can keep buying more of my stuff until you're broke.
Spoofletter: The 10 Dumbest Issues (So Far)
Each issue of Spoofletter, my fake/funny newsletter, takes aim at a different topic.
Spoofletter: The 10 Dumbest Issues (So Far) is a downloadable collection of all-time great Spoofletters: Arts and Crap, Don't-It-Yourself, Bah Humbug, White Lace & Panic, 3rd of July, Gobble, Gimme Shelter, Heart Treks, Halloweenies, and For Pets' Sake. It's a full-color Adobe PDF, a format so ancient you can probably read it on your grandmother's computer. All this silliness for just $9.99. For your very own copy that'll provide hours of mindless enjoyment, click HERE to open my Fastspring store page in a new browser window.
The Sons of Lazarus
Unlike most of my writing, The Sons of Lazarus isn't humorous. At least, not intentionally so. This thriller is available from Amazon.com in paperback HERE and in Kindle format HERE.
(Clicking either link opens a new browser page so you won't lose your place in Carsonmania.com.)
Here's a teaser of the plot to whet your appetite.
On an ordinary Tuesday in November 2012, First Sergeant Matt Storey becomes another afternoon casualty during a bungled Union charge on the Confederates. It's his worst death in several months.
Back by popular demand: The War Between the States, portrayed with gritty realism by Civil Warfields' cast of thousands.
Spectators don't know it, but when these guys "take a hit," the bullets are real. After every battle, implants stimulate their DNA into self-cloning repair. As the reenactors like to say: "It's not just a job, it's an adventure."
But then the Union reenactors' implants begin to fail. And when the Confederate commanding general initiates a sadistic cat-and-mouse game by kidnapping Matt's best friend Charlie, Matt must venture alone into hostile Rebel territory--just when the stakes are highest.
LIKE IT? Buy it HERE (paperback) or HERE (Kindle).
The Sons of Lazarus...
...written under the influence of the notion that the world needed yet another novel.
Website text copyright (c) 2011 Leah Carson, d/b/a Excellent Words, LLC
Shopaholic Golden Retriever photo copyright (c) iStockphoto.com
Shopaholic Golden Retriever photo copyright (c) iStockphoto.com
