What you’ll learn on your tropical vacation

Need a winter escape? Thinking of renting a condo in a warm, sunny locale? You can expect to learn a few things through bitter experience. 

In the condo’s kitchen, extra garbage bags are stashed in the trash can, under the existing bag. You’ll discover this after searching the condo, giving up, buying bags at the nearest store, returning to the condo, and lifting the full trash bag out of the can.

The fancy automated deodorizer in the master bedroom that squirts air freshener every two minutes eventually gets on your nerves.

This gizmo continues getting on your nerves after you’ve moved it to the spare bedroom.

Year-round heat and tropical humidity create strong mildew, which was why the condo owner put an automated deodorizer in the master bedroom.
When you get home, your mildewed clothes will remind you of all the fun you had on vacation.

Year-round residents of this tropical paradise are bored out of their skulls and will latch onto you like lampreys whenever you venture to the condo’s swimming pool.

Shopping for fruit and vegetables? Expect rotten objects teeming with fruit flies. However, the store does carry 76 varieties of tequila, which kind of makes up for it. 

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