Every year I watch the figure skating. Their costumes are gorgeous, with all those sequins and things. Even the men wear them. It kinda makes you wonder.
I don’t care for the crazy young people in the snowboarding contests, when they’re doing the half pipe and the double cross and all that. I’m always afraid they’re going to land on their head and end up like my cousin Lennie.
But the opening ceremony is nice, when all the countries walk into the stadium in alphabetical order – even though I usually fall asleep around the M’s.
Years ago I thought maybe I could get to the Olympics as part of a curling team, until I found out it’s played on ice and doesn’t have anything to do with hair rollers.
I guess that’s all I have to say about the Winter Olympics.