The Top 8 Winter Comfort-Food Recipes

Deep-fried Snickers: not just for breakfast anymore.

1. BUTTERED BUTTER  In small fry pan, sauté four sticks of salted butter. Meanwhile, microwave one stick of unsalted butter for two minutes. Pour over sautéed butter and serve. 

2. MAXI-RONI  Boil two pieces of macaroni until tender. Top with six cups shredded cheese. 

3. CREAM OF SOMETHING SOUP  Use plenty of cream to disguise the fact that this soup is a dumping ground for leftovers: Christmas ham, Hanukkah latkes,  even Thanksgiving turkey.   

4. MEALOAF BEETLOAF I HATE MEATLOAF  (as spurned by little brother Randy in “A Christmas Story”) This staple fills up the plate and provides the illusion that you’re feeding your family.

5. BAKED BEANS  Open a two-gallon institutional-sized can of beans. Heat and serve. Optional: harness the resulting gas and  channel it to your furnace.  

6. NEW ENGLAND BOILED YUCK  Boil corned beef, cabbage, carrots and potatoes until the kitchen wallpaper starts peeling.

7. DEEP-FRIED SNICKERS BARS   Serve as main dish or dessert course. 

8. CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN  Rent this fountain from a party store. The basin heats  chocolate to a liquid state and pumps it into a liquid “waterfall” in which marshmallows or strawberries can be dipped, but if you’re desperate for comfort, just stick your tongue into the flow.