Several major scientific institutions issued a joint statement: “Our measurements indicate that the temperature on the surface is 5505°C, which is just tremendously hot, if you think about it.
“And get this! Astronomers used to regard the Sun as a small and relatively insignificant star, but by golly if it doesn’t turn out to be brighter than about 85% of the stars in the Milky Way galaxy. No wonder it’s so darned hot.”
When asked how they planned to combat this alarming trend, scientists shrugged and answered, “Whatcha gonna do, really? Everybody complains about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.”