
“If you’re going to vote in November,” Santorum said, “you might as well get behind that Mormon guy – you know, Mr. Boatloads of Money, who bought his way into the Republican nomination. I don’t agree with anything he stands for, but he’s certainly better than Obama.”
Faithful supporters, gathered at Santorum’s campaign headquarters for his pseudo-recommendation, held signs reading “Whatever” and “Vote for the lesser of two evils.”
Santorum’s speech came on the heels of Newt Gingrich’s similarly tepid endorsement. “I’m disappointed that the party would choose a mere mortal,” Gingrich said. “While I may have run out of money, I’m still the smartest man on the planet. And now, please excuse me. I’m taking Callista to the hairdresser for an emergency touch-up.”