Here are their comments. We won’t identify which chef said what because frankly, they already get too much attention, and everybody’s selling something.
“Last year I made turducken, which is a deboned duck and chicken inside a turkey. This year I’m going to top that by serving turpigpen – a turkey inside a pig. Some of my guests don’t eat pork, so there’ll be this awkward moment when we set the platter on the table, but then we’ll cut into the pig and reveal the turkey. Voila!”
“Before the meal, I serve apple cider with a shot of cinnamon schnapps. I press people to have seconds and thirds, and I make the drinks stiffer on each round. A few hours later, I’ll serve Swanson Turkey Pot Pie, and they won’t even notice the difference. Why should I cook? It’s my day off.”
“I’m making my signature medium-rare turkey. No matter how many guests I invite, this dish ensures plenty of leftovers.”
“My favorite side dish is deep-fried Brussels sprout leaves, sauteed in rice wine with fresh garlic and vinegar. But after last year’s mass exodus to the ER, I think I’ll omit the garlic this time.”