Home alone on Christmas? Five things to do

A cat could help you break these.

--If you’re a solo entrepreneur, hold a one-person office party. You’re guaranteed to win the door prize. No one will object if you sit on the copier to photocopy your butt. And you might also enjoy conducting a secret Santa gift exchange, although the “secret” part only works if you have dementia. 
--Watch a DVD of “The Bishop’s Wife.” It touches all the traditional Christmas themes: workaholic spouse, marriage doldrums, and angels flirting with mortals. This classic is guaranteed to produce laughs, most of them unintentional.
--Adopt a cat so you won’t have to knock over the Christmas tree all by yourself.
--Dig that old Mr. Microphone set out of the closet. Drive around town looking for somebody who’s out for a walk. Lower your car window and announce: “Hey, beautiful, I’ll be back to pick you up later!”
--On Christmas Eve, set out shots of slivovitz and slices of beer salami for Santa Claus. If he doesn’t finish them off, enjoy them yourself.

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