
--Carry a squirt gun filled with vinegar. Whenever someone asks “Are you ready for Christmas yet?”, let ’em have it.
--Consider dropping some timeworn activities, like sending cards or trimming the tree, in favor of new activities like buying a Harley.
--Send your children abroad.
--Practice saying “no” to things others ask you to do, such as – well, just about everything.
--Delve into sacred holiday traditions: hot buttered rum, spiked eggnog, Tom & Jerrys, the wassail bowl, Irish coffee, mulled wine, and Grandpa’s Wapatoolie Punch.