Drop a dozen cobs in three quarts of boiling water. Cook for one hour. Taste. Discard.
Hang a cob from your rear-view mirror. It will absorb odors without making your car smell gross the way those cardboard pine trees do.
Gnaw on a cob to curb your urge to snack between meals.
Hold up several cobs, proclaim “We call it maize,” and laugh maniacally.
Scrape off kernels, grind between two stones, mix with water, spread on your face, and lie in the sun for an hour. Mask will harden; chip off with chisel. You’ll be amazed at the difference in your complexion.
The next time you’re challenged to a duel, make corncobs your weapon of choice.
Whittle corncob pipes; rent a booth to sell them at a craft fair; and sit there for the weekend while everyone avoids making eye contact with you.
After the first snowfall, scatter kernels outdoors to attract rats and mice.