Farter's Alamanac predicts...

Milwakee's lakefront in October

The staff of the folksy Farter’s Almanac has checked the usual signs (wooly caterpillars’ coats, toad entrails, USDA computer data) and issued its amazingly accurate long-range winter forecast.

North  Cold, with snow and ice from December through March.
West  Cold. Drifting snow in high mountain passes.
South  Warmer than other regions.
East  Who knows?
Caribbean  Warm and pleasant, with higher-than-average chance of Germans in Speedos at the beach.
Vatican City  Crisp, clear days which will attract a mass of cardinals.
Moon  Cold. Low levels of gravity and oxygen.
Mississippi River  Wet.

Washington, D.C.  Typical cloud of hot air over Capitol Hill.

Las Vegas  Rain falls in Vegas, stays in Vegas.  

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