Dear Yoga Expert: I'm stuck!

Dear Yoga Expert:
I was trying to do the Downward Pooping Dog pose, and now I can't get up. Help!
--Stuck in San Diego

Dear Stuck:
Getting stuck is a common problem for beginners who don't have all their chakras aligned yet. The only solution is to let nature take its course. Eventually, your weak abs will cause your entire core to collapse like a piece of overcooked pasta. In the meantime, keep chanting your mantra. If you don't have a mantra, try humming the theme from "Green Acres." Good luck.
--The Yoga Expert