Every room needs a focal point to draw the eye and distract it from the vomit stain on the sofa. To identify your room’s focal point, look around. What’s the biggest feature? It might be a fireplace, a picture window, or Dad lying in the recliner. There’s your focal point.
Or see if the room holds something that’s interesting to look at (an ant farm), texturally appealing (antique barbed-wire fence), highly colorful (sunburned family members), or unexpected (a toilet in the music room).
Some homeowners with cultural pretensions will purchase a grand piano and plunk it down in the middle of the living room. However, when guests ask “Who’s the piano player in your family?” and the hosts sheepishly answer “Nobody,” their focal-point bluff has been called. It’s much better to set out a tuba or an accordion as your focal point. Rest assured, no guests will ask to hear a musical number.
Shameless self-promotion Many more completely pointless decorating tips appear in Gimme Shelter: A Spoofbook on Home Decorating. At just 99 cents in Kindle format, it's way cheaper and easier than hiring a snooty decorator. Find it HERE.
There’s nothing like a fresh coat of paint to make a room look like – well, like it’s just been painted. Most of us have a hate/hate relationship with painting. Well, that’s too bad. As your spouse keeps reminding you, it’s time to paint that room, for crying out loud.
Let’s examine tips from the experts and put them in perspective.
“You’ll enjoy the job more if you organize supplies before starting.” No, you won’t. But at least you won’t be running out to Walmart for a new brush halfway through the job, leaving paint smears on the front seat of your station wagon. So it’s a good idea to…
“Lay out supplies in the middle of the room you’re painting.” Gather the paint, brushes, rollers, six-pack of beer, hammers and screwdrivers (to brandish at pets when they come sniffing around the paint tray), plastic wrap, rags, bones, and paint can opener. Also have on hand a few dropcloths to lay over relatives who can’t be moved.
“Don’t try to get it all done in one day.” Duh! ...
** We interrupt this blog for a blatant self-promotion. You'll find the rest of this story (and lots more silliness) in Gimme Shelter: A Spoofbook on Home Decorating. It's available HERE as a Kindle book from Amazon for just 99 cents.
I hope you weren't expecting anything profound.
If I ever need to plead insanity, this blog will provide valuable evidence.
Copyright (c) 2022 by Leah Carson, d/b/a Excellent Words, LLC