Brunette: So much for tooth bleaching; it hurt so bad I was popping ibuprofen like candy. But her teeth are still whiter than mine.
Blonde: That manicure was totally worth $75. I’ll keep holding up my cup so everyone sees this awesome green polish.
Mr. Dreadlocks: My scalp itches like crazy. When was the last time I washed my hair? October, I think. It’s hard to rinse soap out of these tangles.
Brunette: He’s clinking mugs with me but looking at her. Grrrr.
Blonde: This $450 cut & color and $100 blowout was totally worth it. I definitely have the best hair of anybody here.
Mr. Dreadlocks: This iced chai tea latte tastes like dog piss. Can’t wait to get back to my place and crack open a Pepsi.
Brunette: I’d like to claw her eyes out.
Blonde: This $250 Lululemon yoga top was totally worth it. It takes me from yoga class to Starbucks to meditation group without missing a beat.
Mr. Dreadlocks: I wonder if I can make it through McDonald’s drive-through without the Whole Foods crowd noticing?
Greek choruses, an ancient theater tradition in which actors collectively comment on the dramatic action, conducted violent protests in Athens this week.
“Hey, we’re Greek,” said spokesman Nikolas Christopoulos. “What would you expect?”
The choristers supplemented their traditional singing, dancing and narration by setting up street barricades, burning tires, hurling bottle rockets at police, and occupying an administration building. Authorities responded by confiscating their Actors Equity cards and hiring non-Equity choruses for current productions.
Reaction to the replacement choruses was mixed. “A real chorus employs clear enunciation and exaggerated movements to put their point across in the large theater, but these bozos just mumble and stumble,” critic Nikolas Demetriou wrote in the Athens Daily Ouzo. However, Nikolas Apostolou’s review in Athens Monthly Opa praised the replacements’ “fresh, inventive staging,” singling out “the comic relief when one chorister fell off the stage and the others immediately jumped after him.”
I hope you weren't expecting anything profound.
If I ever need to plead insanity, this blog will provide valuable evidence.
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