(Tune: "My Sharona")
I've always had allergies, I cough and sneeze
But people now think that it's my corona
Doctor says I'm virus-free, what a relief
He tells me: Stop a-wastin' my time, you moaner
Walking down the street makes me weak, makes me short of breath
Nose starts to tingle, people givin' me the Stare of Death
My nose turned a rosy red -- a look of dread
Shows when folks recoil from my corona
Never meant to freak them out, without a doubt,
They treat me like a leper with walking pneumonia
My face looks so feverish, there's no way to cover up
I can clear a room real soon just by showing up
(C) Copyright 2022 by Leah Carson
Regarding the current international health crisis, we at Carsonmania remain focused on our own safety and comfort. The following policy changes are effective immediately.
All delivery parcels should be left at the front door. Use the 6-foot pole (provided) to ring the doorbell, then run away. Exception: recreational drugs can be delivered to the back door. If we like the way you look, we'll invite you in.
Change of plans for the previously scheduled potluck dinner: we will provide all the food. Each guest must bring a roll of toilet paper. Hazmat suits and respirators will be available in the foyer.
We also pledge our best efforts toward flattening the curve, as soon as we find out what that means.
As we've been housebound for more than a week, our supply of reading material is dwindling. We welcome donations of new or gently-used books on World War II, home design, and home design during World War II. Romance novels, children's books, cookbooks, Danielle Steel novels, and adult coloring books are not being accepted at this time (or ever).
I hope you weren't expecting anything profound.
If I ever need to plead insanity, this blog will provide valuable evidence.
Copyright (c) 2022 by Leah Carson, d/b/a Excellent Words, LLC