Carsonmania,Spoofbooks
Too many cooks spoil the dump. Attend a chili dump Yes, I know “dump” means everyone dumps their favorite homemade chili into a common pot, but that doesn’t make it any more appetizing. Go skydiving Why do you think the plane’s wing is stamped “not a step”? Visit India If I wanted to experience foodborne illness and foreign languages amid extreme poverty, I’d revisit Appalachia. NOW AVAILABLE! Anesthesia Peel meets Crispin BenGay, a filthy rich and incredibly hunkalicious entrepreneur, during an interview for her beauty-school newspaper. BenGay is mysteriously attracted to Ana, a social zero who’s never even used email. He makes her his submissive, to have, to hold and to hurt. Fifty Shades of BenGay puts a whole new spin on the bestselling romance novel with a soft-porn filling: That ridiculous contract “Hard limits: No acts involving clowns or mimes.” Laughable lovemaking “His mouth finds mine, which isn’t hard, considering how big my mouth is.” Ana’s multiple personalities “My inner goddess is picking her nose.” Those ludicrous emails “Crispin: About our ‘deal’: thanks, but no thanks. P.S. Can I keep the laptop?” This book is intended for immature adults. It contains explicit scenes of a physically impossible nature. At just $2.99 from Amazon.com, it’s way cheaper (and much less nauseating) than the original. Click here to visit the book's sales page at Amazon without losing your place in Carsonmania.com. It’s too bad the Treasury Department and the Federal Reserve just nixed the idea of minting a $1 trillion coin to solve the debt-limit crisis. (Yes, we’re not making this up.) Just think of all the ways you could use this coin: Stick it in a parking meter before a really loooong night out with no worries about time expiring before you return to your car. Place it in a Salvation Army bell-ringer’s pot at Christmas and make the evening news. Keep it in your pocket as “mad money” in case of a sudden whim to take a 30-year round-the-world tour. (Just remember to remove the coin from your pocket before dropping off your pants at the dry cleaners.) Buy at least 10 billion cans of soda at a vending machine. Find a pay phone somewhere, and make a long-distance call to Mars. |
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